Thanksgiving 2008

We had a great thanks giving. Irene's brother came home for a surprise visit. Everyone was shocked... it was great. I'm feeling more at home with Irene's family than ever... It is fun having brothers around again. There were several follow-on dinners that made for some really great conversation, thanksgiving, and prayer times.

Group Shot after stuffing ourselves with Turkey

On Friday we cut down our Christmas Tree (an Andrew-Irene Tradition 3 years running) at Linvilla Orchards. Here are a few fun pictures...

Andrew Kissing Irene

Andrew Scaring the Tree Into Falling Over

Irene Shocked At the '8 "10 Tree In Our '9 Living Room

-Andrew

What remains

Dad was a gentle man. Softspoken and kind, he preferred to coexist with the mice in his home than trap them or kill them. In spite of his eccentricities, he was so generous and warm that he made many faithful friends. He loved the Bible and Emily Dickinson. He lived quietly with his own thoughts for the most part, writing pages of letters and detailed notes about everything. He loved leather moccasins and rolling his own cigarettes. He loved his two cats, and he was happy to let the raccoons share their food.

We started cleaning out his trailer about two weeks ago, after a ten hour drive from our front door into the southern Ohio countryside. We took his clothes into the nearest town to wash and donate. We marveled at the stacks of books and papers that we found, still smelling like tobacco smoke, and mildewy from months of moisture. He hadn't lived here for several months, since beginning cancer treatments in the city back in the spring. Since we were miles away from any recycling or trash dumps, we built a fire and started burning the books that were water damaged, dirty, or torn.

It was a numbing task. We became cold and methodical, sorting through things and passing judgment on them: This item can be donated to Goodwill, but this one must be destroyed or thrown away. We set aside just a few items to bring back with us: A chainsaw that Andrew had given him for Christmas, that had never even been taken out of the box; a meaningful letter; a piece of wood that Dad had painted with bright colors. As I stood tossing things into the fire, a couple of times I glanced up, expecting to see Dad suddenly standing over us, asking softly, "Why are you burning my books? What did you do with my clothes?"

If holding onto all that stuff could somehow keep Dad alive with us, we would do it. If only keeping it just as it was could entice him back, so he could live there again. But all those papers, rusty tools, and stained clothes didn't feel alive anymore. We camped in a tent on Dad's land that night, and we woke up in the cold morning air. We felt alive.

In loving memory
WILLIAM RICHARD ARMSTRONG
February 14, 1946 - September 4, 2008

(Posted by Irene)

Progress Report - 4 months, 8 days

Here's a quick update, in no particular order, on what we're doing in our newlywed life.

FRIENDS & FAMILY: We see Irene's parents quite frequently - sometimes as much as once a week. We've been to see Andrew's parents in the Midwest twice since the wedding. Most recently, Andrew's parents took us sailing, which was fabulous! We've thrown a housewarming party, and hosted one or two other get-togethers, which were all a blast.

OTHER WEDDINGS: Let's see, since our own wedding, we've been invited to 4, 5... 6 other weddings, including one in which Andrew was a member of the bridal party! We've managed to attend 4 out of the 6 (well, 3 and a half, because we missed the ceremony for one of them and only made it to the reception). It's been a busy year!

THANK-YOU CARDS: I'd say we're about 65% done with sending out thank-yous to all the dear friends who gave us wedding gifts. I was hoping to be finished by now, but I underestimated how many people would give us gifts. I DEFINITELY underestimated the difficulty of consistently working through the thank-yous that we owe. We are truly touched and honored by everyone who gave us something for our wedding, and yes, if you haven't gotten a thank-you from us yet, it is COMING!!

GETTING ALONG: I think we get along marvelously. We've had some disagreements and hurt feelings, but they've all resolved fairly quickly, and I think they've been good for us!

ROMANCE: Fabulous. We're falling more in love all the time. Being married is awesome!

HOME ORGANIZATION: I'd give this a 7 out of 10. We are making progress, but we still have one mostly unusable room (which is significant, since we've only got a 2-bedroom apartment) that's full of junk and unopened boxes. We are still in need of some furniture too, if only for the storage.

BABY PLANS: We're talking about it. But don't hold your breath!

CHURCH: Leading up to the wedding, both of us cut down on our commitments, but now we're getting back into the swing of things. The newest endeavor is that we are now leading a small group that meets at our place every Saturday morning.

SUMMER VACATIONS: This has been a really wonderful summer, as our work schedules have allowed us to have long weekends together every weekend! We've taken a few fun trips this summer, but the biggest one (a fabulous tropical vacation... our second honeymoon!) is coming up on Friday, and we'll be gone for almost two weeks! Then it will be back to school and back to work.

OTHER STUFF: Irene had a significant birthday a few weeks ago. Andrew's is coming up in a few months too. It's been a great ride so far... can't wait to see what the next 80 years will bring!

(Posted by Irene)

Bet you can't take just one!

With the holiday weekend we've found some time to veg, and as we sat around we came up with some thoughts we want to share. Well, one though really, and that is... Honeymoons are so great, why take just one?

So in the following we tag team our top reasons for taking multiple honeymoons:

a) The first year is important as you get to know each other. During the first honeymoon anything you learn is more like shock therapy. Having a second honeymoon lets you understand your spouse in a more relaxed way. (andrew)

b) Half of the first honeymoon is spent catching up on sleep and coming down from the craziness of the wedding. The second can actually be a vacation! (irene)

c) Having more than one honeymoon takes the stress off. Say that cabin in the woods ended up being filled with mosquitoes, or your idyllic tropical beach resort got hit by a hurricane. You only get one shot at the wedding, but you can have as many honeymoons as you want! (andrew & irene)

d) More romance all around. (irene)

e) My parents told me to do it, and I believe them. They've taken at least one honeymoon a year for the last 25 years, so I feel they speak from experience. (andrew)

f) The first year of marriage is so busy and so full of change and transition, that it's especially important to get away together. (irene)

g) Honeymoons don't have to be expensive. (irene)

After our wedding we spent a week someplace low-key and fairly close by. This fall we're planning our second honeymoon-- something longer, and more exotic. Beyond that, who knows? But no matter what it is, we'll be having fun spending time with each other as giddy newlyweds.

and turn off your phone

It's best to give advice right away while you still think you know something. With that in mind here are some tips for those planning the "biggest day of their lives".

1) Take pictures before the ceremony. I don't care what traditions you break about seeing the bride in her dress. Taking pictures before the ceremony yields a host of benefits; you aren't as rushed, your guests feel much more respected by not having to wait three hours for dinner, and you get better pictures.

2) Have a coordinator. This can be as simple as a friend (other than the Maid of Honor) keeping a to do list and talking to vendors & wedding participants on your behalf. Our coordinator did a great job. THANKS MEL!

3) Stay well fed! We had Melody pick up lunch (did I mention how great it is to have a coordinator). She brought sandwiches to the church before the pre-ceremony pictures (did I mention how pre-ceremony pictures are better.) No one fainted, and we were all in good moods because our stomachs were full.

4) Turn your cell phones off. I answered mine during the reception. Thank goodness my brother turned my phone off before I left on my honeymoon or I may have spent the entire week on the phone. NOT!

~andrew

Wonderful Wedding

Our wedding day was AWESOME! The rain stopped 1 hr. before we started taking pictures outdoors at a local college. Praise God!

So many close friends and family showed up. Thanks to everyone for coming. We really appreciated being able to share the day with so many of you. We had people come from far and near. Some of you even had to battle airlines going bankrupt. We appreciate your dedication and support.

A big thanks to everyone who helped with the big day. Melody did a great job of coordinating. To Brad & Becca for making the ceremony fun. To Karen & Marple Presbyterian for welcoming us into your church. Steven (my bro) for keeping me calm... thanks for turning off my cell phone. Dad & Mom Chow for letting me cal you "Dad" and "Mom". Luke & Caleb for making me feel welcome. All the Chow's uncles... I will take your threats seriously. Justin for still being there 18 years and counting. All our VCC family for encouraging us and supporting us. Dan, you showed up to help, and kept showing up to help weeks and weeks before the wedding. I appreciate it so much. Jimmy (James Geyer) you did a great job with the photos... thanks for making it fun.

Mom & Dad Hazelwood, you've supported me is so many ways. I'm so proud to call you my parents. Thanks!

Irene! Thanks for showing up. You were the best bride any man could hope for. You were beautiful (in both dresses), calm, and loving. I love you!

~andrew

Great anticipation

We have less than three days to go before the wedding. We are very busy indeed, cleaning up our new apartment (which is still stacked high with boxes after moving in just four days ago) to be ready for guests, printing programs and place cards, finalizing dance music selections, and so forth. Tomorrow, out-of-town relatives will begin arriving. Thus the wedding weekend begins.

Here I am grabbing a quiet moment before going to bed. There are so many things going through my head that it's hard to silence them. It's hard to comprehend that I, myself, am the bride, and not someone else. I'm bewildered by the attention, and hardly believing it. It's hard to comprehend that my life is about to be transformed. It's hard to believe that I really found Andrew, and that he found me, and we're going to belong to each other for the rest of our lives. We are giddy with excitement, because soon we will be husband and wife.

We can't wait to celebrate this special day with our friends and family. See you there!

(Posted by Irene)

Practicing the "in sickness" part

Last week I came down with the flu, so we didn't get much done last weekend. I was stuck in bed, and Andrew spent most of his time taking care of me. Now I'm feeling better, but he's come down with it, and it's my turn to nurse him. So much for packing boxes, cleaning the new apartment, opening bank accounts, or hanging out with friends. Neither of us get sick very often, so this is a bummer. In a way it's kind of cute, though... this week, we're sharing the first of many, many germy sicknesses together.

As our loved ones keep saying, though, better now than in two weeks! Maybe being forced to be still isn't such a bad thing. Otherwise I'd still be a big ball of stress running around. Really, though, there's not that much that needs to be done. At least not urgently.

Thanks to all of our friends and family who sent us RSVPs promptly. Oh, and we appreciate the non-prompt ones too-- better late than never. We are really, really looking forward to celebrating with all of you. Get ready for a great time!

(Posted by Irene)

do it yourself: not for the faint of heart

On Thursday we started printing invitation inserts, and on Friday we changed the ink cartridges and printed invitations, and on Saturday changed the ink cartridge again and fought with the printer that would only print blue, and after fixing that we fought with it for not handling the mail merge, and after that we sat and stuffed envelopes for 4 hours straight.

But, finally we prevailed. The invitations are done except for a few exceptions (waiting for address, etc.) The picture is of Irene in my living room 15 minutes before putting them in the mail.

An extra special shout out goes to: Daniel, Jason, Sonia, Mike, Marya, and Jenifer who were of great help and support.

Apologizing

So Andrew spent four hours in the car fuming at me, and all that time I was blissfully unaware that anything had gone wrong. I had a wonderfully productive day off from work, cleaning the house in preparation for my FUTURE IN-LAWS to visit (whee!! I mean, aack!), and dropping by a bakery and a florist.

Well, so I was right and he was wrong. Sort of. Except that maybe some things are more important than being right. Like... umm... uh....

So I apologized, but NOT FOR BEING RIGHT, no matter what he may say! Mostly, well... he's just... he's... so cute. And big and strong and brave, and smart, too. He's irresistible!

But seriously, folks, I wasn't... totally... right. Just mostly right. Like, virtually, practically, for-all-intents-and-purposes RIGHT.

But even if I'm right, it's important for him to win sometimes too. (Shh... Don't tell him I said so!)

~irene

Offending People

Well, where do I start... my bride, my OLD coworkers, or my in-laws?

You're not going to get any dirt from me about my in-laws... or my coworkers (hey, I gotta keep paying the bills) so I'll spread a little dirt about my fiancee. Truth be told, there are a lot of good things about Irene. She's smart, laughs at my jokes, and looks great! There's just one thing. She's right so often. I mean, I should have known this, right? Well, I didn't and today comes along and I'm fuming over the fact that she's right! Hrumph!!! What's a guy to do.

*** Guys, Don't Try This At Home! ***

I got in a fight, then she apologized for being right, then I brought in flowers to clean up the mess. It worked... I think. She apologized, so that means I won... Right?

Well, maybe not, but only time will tell.

I'll let you know.

~andrew

"Bride"

After getting engaged I found it very startling to be called a "bride". I mean, I'm a "fiancee", or I'm "engaged", but am I a "bride"? It started to hit me when Andrew and I went to a bridal show with my maid of honor and I was asked, "Are you the bride?" Who, me? As several weeks have now passed since getting engaged, I'm starting to become accustomed to it. I tried on my dress and veil today, and I really looked like a bride, somehow.

Brides get a bad rap for being pushy, demanding, controlling, and self-centered. I can certainly understand why brides get that way. The wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and it's supposed to reflect the absolute best of a bride. The wedding is the culmination of many, many girlhood (and womanhood) dreams, the happy ending of every fairy tale, the repository of traditions and societal/familial expectations. Add to that the stress of having to organize, plan, budget, and completely overhaul your life (while still going to work and maintaining your daily existence), and it's pretty amazing that any bride could hold onto her sanity, or even regain it again after the wedding is over.

I certainly haven't been immune to stress, and I've experienced some insomnia and hyperactivity alternating with exhaustion. There are three major things that have been tremendous stress-relievers for me, though.

1) Friends and family. It has been so helpful to have people to confide in, and to help me handle phone calls and other tasks-- especially my mom and my maid of honor!

2) Prayer. Prayer and dependence on God has been the best possible strategy for effective wedding planning, and for keeping me mentally and emotionally balanced! Like anything else in life, going to Him in prayer every day means acknowledging that I am NOT in control. He is. The wonderful thing is that He cares, even for all the little details, and I can TRUST Him.

Of course God is concerned with much bigger issues than a wedding. Weddings happen all the time. The danger is when we start to think that God cares ONLY about big things (like poverty, violence, humanitarian disasters, etc.), and that we are abandoned to our own devices when it comes to the mundane things. The idea that we have to be in control of everything that has to do with our own lives, and that He doesn't care, is just not true. He wants our hearts more than anything else, while our hearts cling to things both great and small. So, believing that He cares for me, I have been bringing all my wedding requests to Him.

And, sure enough, we have been incredibly blessed with smooth sailing in general-- many, many things have simply fallen into place. Sometimes I lose perspective, and it feels like we're racing the clock and never catching up. Actually, we've accomplished a surprising amount. So here I'm continuing Andrew's checklist:

In less than two weeks, we have:
*-Confirmed a videographer
*-Recruited a fabulous volunteer wedding coordinator
*-Paid a deposit on a ceremony location
*-Confirmed a photographer
*-Had my mom almost complete the veil (hand-made!)
*-Gotten one of my two dresses altered
*-Tried on the other gown and veil for hemming, freedom of movement, etc.
*-Chosen wedding favors
*-Completed most of our wedding registry
*-Completed the bridal shower invites list
*-Made arrangements for both sets of parents to meet for the first time
*-Continued adjusting the guest list
*-Continued researching/talking about florists, bakeries, the rehearsal dinner, hotels for guests, and apartment hunting.

I think God has been enlarging our steps under us. The work is getting done, and we are going to have a glorious celebration.

3) Andrew. He's my partner in all this hard work. I'm not alone! Andrew is so calm, so capable, fun, and energetic, and he is such a wonderful comfort and support. In any case, all of this is for him. He's my love. HE makes it worth it, and he makes it a delight. I am not just a bride, I'm HIS bride.

(Posted by Irene)

Checked Off - X2

Still in our first month we've already:
1. Ordered more dresses: 22 days
2. Verbally confirmed the church (still need to pay): 23 days
3. Put a down payment on the reception hall: 24 days

Checked Off

There are so many lists explaining that you should have your dress by this time, reception hall by that time, and what not. It can get discouraging. I'm starting this post to talk about what we completed and how long it took us (from when we got engaged) to complete something.

1. Pick Our Colors: 0 days
2. Reserve a Pastor: 8 days
3. Buy A Dress: 13 days
4. Pick the Bridal Party: 14 days
5. Make a Draft Invite List: 14 days

Other things in the works...
a) photographer selected, but not confirmed
b) reception halls contacted, but not confirmed
c) churches called, but not confirmed
d) pre-marital counseling started, but not complete
e) honeymoon plans started, but not complete

Other things not started
invitations, florist, tux, cake, hotels, wedding rings...

(Posted by Andrew)