After getting engaged I found it very startling to be called a "bride". I mean, I'm a "fiancee", or I'm "engaged", but am I a "bride"? It started to hit me when Andrew and I went to a bridal show with my maid of honor and I was asked, "Are you the bride?" Who, me? As several weeks have now passed since getting engaged, I'm starting to become accustomed to it. I tried on my dress and veil today, and I really looked like a bride, somehow.
Brides get a bad rap for being pushy, demanding, controlling, and self-centered. I can certainly understand why brides get that way. The wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and it's supposed to reflect the absolute best of a bride. The wedding is the culmination of many, many girlhood (and womanhood) dreams, the happy ending of every fairy tale, the repository of traditions and societal/familial expectations. Add to that the stress of having to organize, plan, budget, and completely overhaul your life (while still going to work and maintaining your daily existence), and it's pretty amazing that any bride could hold onto her sanity, or even regain it again after the wedding is over.
I certainly haven't been immune to stress, and I've experienced some insomnia and hyperactivity alternating with exhaustion. There are three major things that have been tremendous stress-relievers for me, though.
1) Friends and family. It has been so helpful to have people to confide in, and to help me handle phone calls and other tasks-- especially my mom and my maid of honor!
2) Prayer. Prayer and dependence on God has been the best possible strategy for effective wedding planning, and for keeping me mentally and emotionally balanced! Like anything else in life, going to Him in prayer every day means acknowledging that I am NOT in control. He is. The wonderful thing is that He cares, even for all the little details, and I can TRUST Him.
Of course God is concerned with much bigger issues than a wedding. Weddings happen all the time. The danger is when we start to think that God cares ONLY about big things (like poverty, violence, humanitarian disasters, etc.), and that we are abandoned to our own devices when it comes to the mundane things. The idea that we have to be in control of everything that has to do with our own lives, and that He doesn't care, is just not true. He wants our hearts more than anything else, while our hearts cling to things both great and small. So, believing that He cares for me, I have been bringing all my wedding requests to Him.
And, sure enough, we have been incredibly blessed with smooth sailing in general-- many, many things have simply fallen into place. Sometimes I lose perspective, and it feels like we're racing the clock and never catching up. Actually, we've accomplished a surprising amount. So here I'm continuing Andrew's checklist:
In less than two weeks, we have:
*-Confirmed a videographer
*-Recruited a fabulous volunteer wedding coordinator
*-Paid a deposit on a ceremony location
*-Confirmed a photographer
*-Had my mom almost complete the veil (hand-made!)
*-Gotten one of my two dresses altered
*-Tried on the other gown and veil for hemming, freedom of movement, etc.
*-Chosen wedding favors
*-Completed most of our wedding registry
*-Completed the bridal shower invites list
*-Made arrangements for both sets of parents to meet for the first time
*-Continued adjusting the guest list
*-Continued researching/talking about florists, bakeries, the rehearsal dinner, hotels for guests, and apartment hunting.
I think God has been enlarging our steps under us. The work is getting done, and we are going to have a glorious celebration.
3) Andrew. He's my partner in all this hard work. I'm not alone! Andrew is so calm, so capable, fun, and energetic, and he is such a wonderful comfort and support. In any case, all of this is for him. He's my love. HE makes it worth it, and he makes it a delight. I am not just a bride, I'm HIS bride.
(Posted by Irene)
